Imperfectly Nice

Archive for the month “May, 2014”

A Summertime PSA from: My Husband*


Summer is approaching, and beach vacations are imminent. We are all counting down the days until our behinds are in a beach chair, the smell of sunscreen and salt water (or maybe margarita salt) coming together to form the olfactory heaven that is summer.  The warm sun and the ocean breeze are intoxicating, and we find it hard to remove ourselves from our beach chairs. We are blissed out and joyfully reclining, Jimmy Buffett music playing on a radio a few towels down, and we feel the need to document the moment. Because this is of those moments we wait for. When deadlines are swallowing us whole and the cold won’t quit, this is what got us through – the promise of a white chair and a striped umbrella. We don’t just want to document it though, we want to share it. With our loved ones and people we probably went to high school with, but really don’t remember, and that person we met at that conference that one time. Also, we kind of want to make everyone at the office a little jealous, because we can be jerks sometimes. The phone comes out, the photo is snapped, we spend copious amounts of time deciding if LoFi or Valencia makes the water bluer and the clouds whiter, and then we post. We post a picture of our feet facing the ocean. Not only do we post it now, we post it over and over again, all summer long every time we are beach- or pool-side. And my husband has something to say about it. Stop. Please stop. He doesn’t care if your pedicure is fresh, he still thinks you have jacked up toes, and desperately wishes for something else in his newsfeed in the months of May through September besides your sandy ankles.

I understand the temptation. I have been there. I have taken photos of my feet at the beach. Half of our honeymoon video is me taking shots of the Jamaican surf slowly covering and uncovering my toes. There is practically nothing better for our five senses to experience: the smell of the salt, the feel of the foamy surf between our toes, the sound of waves crashing, the taste of a cool drink, and the sight of the blue water … perfection. But here is the thing. It is perfection for YOU. While YOU are at the beach. You know what the rest of us experience when you post these photos? Your weird crooked toe and that tattoo you got on spring break in college that you now kind of regret. That is all. We don’t hear the waves or feel the surf between our toes.** I’m not telling you not to take the picture. By all means, document. Document away. Take a million photos of your feet and filter and Photoshop them to death. Print them and keep them in your desk drawer this winter because, for a brief moment, it will take you back to that perfect moment on that perfect day. But please don’t share them. My husband is freaked out by your hammertoe.

*The words are mine, but the sentiment is his. And he is correct.

**This is NOT a solicitation for VIDEOS of your feet at the beach. Still can’t feel the sun or taste the cool drink in your video, so no.

Special note: This announcement is made for those who are traveling to the beach sans children or with nanny and/or grandparents. Anyone trying to keep a toddler from swallowing half of the Gulf obviously doesn’t have time to take feet pictures. Lounging? Ha! 

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